Rotten Tomatoes Post 32
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Sour Suite
CURRENT RATINGS:
ROTTEN: 4/10 4/10 Movie: My Own Private Idaho (1992)
So I go into the bathroom to take a piss, because I’m not drunk and that’s where you’re supposed to piss in such a situation. I look down to aim and what do I see floating in the toilet? Shit? Vomit? Hair? No, it was none of those things. Instead, it was a fucking bar of soap. Now, I’m in a college dorm, the toilet and the shower are separated by a fucking wall. Its not like someone leaned over too far and dropped the soap into the toilet. And, there are trash baskets in the bathroom and another one right outside the door. Apparently neither one of these are worthy of getting rid of soap though. So the half used bar of Dial received a burial at sea. Now the thing that really pisses me off is that I’m paying extra for this. No, not for the soap. I am now using body wash with the poofy brush. Oh yeah, gets all the lil pimples off my back. But, I found out that all this time I’ve paid extra money for the privilege of living in a suite. Privilege? Well, what benefits do I have here in the suite? My room is smaller than the non-suite rooms. But I have a living room. Yes, and it smells like rice and Asian diarrhea. Well, you can take a shower and not have to worry about catching any foot disease. Yes, showers are nice. When you can find the fucking shower head!!! See, Mickael doesn’t like to use the shower head. He feels his showers are better without it. Well, in America we call that a bath. All he’s doing is taking a bath with a higher faucet. Speaking of the damn faucet. I am not a hobbit, but the shower is designed for small people. The shower pipe comes out at my nipples, then curves down. So my balls get a thorough cleaning, which you need to get in college, but I have to pop a squat to wash anything above my waist. And let me tell you, when a fart sneaks out while you’re in a steamy shower its just, damn. The company isn’t that great either. Asians run everywhere. I have no idea why. I think just because people call me Fat Man they expect me to drop an atomic bomb on their heads. (Asshole comment warning) I think they saw all the children running away from the napalm attacks in Vietnam and thought it looked like a clever idea. Only they’re not naked. (Asshole comment ending)
In other news, I’ll be home from school on or near May 21. I’m so ready to leave, and then I’ll be ready to come back.
Just to throw a review in here, I had to watch My Own Private Idaho for my Road Films class. The movie starts at a 0 for the man on man blow job scene that it opens with. Oh yeah, River Phoenix is a male prostitute that only services men. And oh yeah, he has narcolepsy. Add in a writing credit for Shakespeare after stealing most of Henry V and I give it a 4. Why 4? Because I’ve given 3’s and 5’s but never a 4.
Ok, that’s it for now. I’ll have more stories later. Fuck the suite.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Sour Suite
CURRENT RATINGS:
ROTTEN: 4/10 4/10 Movie: My Own Private Idaho (1992)
So I go into the bathroom to take a piss, because I’m not drunk and that’s where you’re supposed to piss in such a situation. I look down to aim and what do I see floating in the toilet? Shit? Vomit? Hair? No, it was none of those things. Instead, it was a fucking bar of soap. Now, I’m in a college dorm, the toilet and the shower are separated by a fucking wall. Its not like someone leaned over too far and dropped the soap into the toilet. And, there are trash baskets in the bathroom and another one right outside the door. Apparently neither one of these are worthy of getting rid of soap though. So the half used bar of Dial received a burial at sea. Now the thing that really pisses me off is that I’m paying extra for this. No, not for the soap. I am now using body wash with the poofy brush. Oh yeah, gets all the lil pimples off my back. But, I found out that all this time I’ve paid extra money for the privilege of living in a suite. Privilege? Well, what benefits do I have here in the suite? My room is smaller than the non-suite rooms. But I have a living room. Yes, and it smells like rice and Asian diarrhea. Well, you can take a shower and not have to worry about catching any foot disease. Yes, showers are nice. When you can find the fucking shower head!!! See, Mickael doesn’t like to use the shower head. He feels his showers are better without it. Well, in America we call that a bath. All he’s doing is taking a bath with a higher faucet. Speaking of the damn faucet. I am not a hobbit, but the shower is designed for small people. The shower pipe comes out at my nipples, then curves down. So my balls get a thorough cleaning, which you need to get in college, but I have to pop a squat to wash anything above my waist. And let me tell you, when a fart sneaks out while you’re in a steamy shower its just, damn. The company isn’t that great either. Asians run everywhere. I have no idea why. I think just because people call me Fat Man they expect me to drop an atomic bomb on their heads. (Asshole comment warning) I think they saw all the children running away from the napalm attacks in Vietnam and thought it looked like a clever idea. Only they’re not naked. (Asshole comment ending)
In other news, I’ll be home from school on or near May 21. I’m so ready to leave, and then I’ll be ready to come back.
Just to throw a review in here, I had to watch My Own Private Idaho for my Road Films class. The movie starts at a 0 for the man on man blow job scene that it opens with. Oh yeah, River Phoenix is a male prostitute that only services men. And oh yeah, he has narcolepsy. Add in a writing credit for Shakespeare after stealing most of Henry V and I give it a 4. Why 4? Because I’ve given 3’s and 5’s but never a 4.
Ok, that’s it for now. I’ll have more stories later. Fuck the suite.
posted by DieselDecent | 4:16 AM
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